Three kisses. One majorly butterscotch and way to much tongue, one luke warm kiss and a quick peck today. That is my major history of one week "with" Fernando. I'm kind of feeling icked out by the situation. Today he wanted to go to the state park which is a mile away from the restaurant. To me it felt like the equivalent of parking on "lovers lane". So I said no. Not to mention I had plans with the girls from work to hit double bubble at a local bar. It is our one Wednesday a month tradition. And he told me that I should go with them next week and go with him instead. I told him sorry and gave him a simple peck and said goodbye after he denied the invitation to join me at double bubble. I don't know I have this feeling that maybe he still lives with the mother of him one year old son. Maybe I am just overanalyzing which I am very good at. I don't feel I should get very comfortable with this situation.

I am trying to think more about my goals. Like my house. I'm trying to figure out how I could possibly work a third job. Salvador my favorite cook who started his own restaurant begged me to come work for him. He offered me double what I make at the restaurant now and he'll work around my schedule there plus he'll drive me back and forth since it's a lot further away. I'm flattered but.... And I could quit my job at the station and although I really don't like it there I am a creature of habit and I've worked there for over three years.

If I think about my goals then I won't worry so much about not having "someone". I just have this feeling that if I get everything all fit together in my life then I'll be ready for the right guy or maybe it won't matter as much. It's funny because Miriah was telling me how she wishes she could buy a house and I wish that I could have a boyfriend who was as devoted as hers. I bought dishes on Monday. Two bowls, two plates, two teacups and saucers and three glasses. There still wrapped in the tissue but I can't wait to put them in my very own cupboard.