I've been talking a lot about rules lately. It's funny though. Most of the things that I believe don't follow the rules.For example the common rule is that you have to go to college, get a four year degree and THEN you will be happy. I knew college wasn't the thing for me despite being an B student in high school. I tried it and now KNOW that it isn't the thing for me. I don't have any intentions of going back any time soon. Though every time someone asks I simply say that I'm just taking a year off because I can only put up with so many diasapproving glances and lectures that makes me rather live a lie. The only person who agreed with me was my uncle Bob. I nearly cried when he said that he thought what I was doing the right thing. He said that God makes our heart crave different things at different times. I gave him a hug and thanked him for his support. But aren't you supposed to love what you do? I love waitressing. I've been doing it for nearly five months and I still love it. I can see myself doing it for a very long time. Is that wrong?

There is also a rule that you have to be married to have children. Two parents are necessary to properly raise a child. I say a partner is optimal but love is the only thing necessary to raise a child. I know too many families where they have just stayed together for the kids or gotten married for them and ended up bringing up the kids in a bad situation. I am fully ready to have a child on my own. I am aware that it won't be easy. I want a child by the time I am thirty and I'm not going to settle for a mediocre guy just so I can have a child. Jess has told me that I'll ruin my chances of marrying a guy because I'll have a child. Why would I want that guy if he didn't want my child?

Another unwritten rule is that "love" seems to be finding a person that you can stand enough and compromise enough so you can marry them. There is a whole long period of getting to know them, dating, engagement and finally marriage. But I would truly like to think that there is something more magical to it. I still adamently believe that you just KNOW. I mean you know right away when something is wrong why can't you just know when it is right. I believe that Jeremy and Amanda's romance however unbelievable it may seem to most, being together only just over a month before they get engaged, is completly how it's supposed to go. Maybe I'll wait forever but I don't want to settle just to get married like you are supposed to do.

In order to be a Christian you must go to church and read the bible. I am a stong believer in God. I have seen him work many miracles in my life.I pray to him nearly every night. I believe that he has a plan for me. But I believe church and the bible are these things that humans put on faith to weigh it down so it was some kind of clique or sorority that you have to follow certain rules in order to join. I haven't gone to church for months and I haven't touched my bible for much longer. Does that make me not a christian?

I guess I am a rule breaker.