"everything is everything..what is meant to be will be..after winter must come spring..change it comes eventually" ~Lauryn Hill

One of the things that I really need to work on is my faith. When things are going my way I have no problem in having faith. But it's those dark times when you need it the most that I begin to falter. It seems that there no longer is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have to realize that I just can't see the light yet but it's still there. I know there are many times after a messy situation I look back on it and say, oh my gosh did I learn ______from that. But when you are knee high in it it's hard to see the good side of a bad situation. And then there are those situations where you look back on and say what was I thinking. I've had those guys where I just thought I want nothing more than to be with them. I thought they were what I was missing in my life. Then you meet someone else and you realize how stupid you really were.

My best example for having faith is my Aunt Jeanne and Uncle Gary. They have been married for thirty years and have wanted children very badly but had many heartaches, miscarriages and a failed adoption to the point that they just decided that maybe they just weren't meant to have children. Then they heard some speakers come to their church to talk about Russian adoptions and they decided to try it again. Everything worked out and they were able to adopt a two and three year old, Thomas and Samuel. When they sent out their "birth" announcements I noticed that the cards were pretty old fashioned. Once I read the handwritten area it all made sense. My Aunt Jeanne in her beautiful handwriting had bought the cards twenty eight years ago when they first trying to have children. She had held onto them all these years. I'm sure there were many times in those 28 years and ten moves to new houses when she was tempted to throw them in the garbage. But the important part is that she didn't. I know in my heart of hearts that things happen for a reason and even if a situation feels crappy that it will work out. I hate to use the terrible quote but "Things will be worse before they get better." Would you really appreciate the little things in your life if everything was always hunky dory. Like living here in Wisconsin and having these miserable winters make us appreciate those days where it is sunny and 60 degrees whereas if you lived in Florida where the average temp is somewhere in the seventies you would be complaining about what a miserable day it was. You just have to look at things with a new perspective.