I got my self all geared up to end things with him. Instead of putting off things any longer I grabbed the phone and went to my bedroom without even so much as taking off my shoes. I told myself you have to do it RIGHT now. Like a bandaid you have to give it one swift yank because you can't just leave it sticking there. But nope. He's not home and I find it degrading to leave a message. What would I say anyways. "Hi this is Katie and I'm going to break up with you even though it's valentines day. So if you could call soon I'd like to get it done and over with."

I feel like every guy that I've ever gone out with. Okay so maybe thats three but with each they didn't have the balls to end things but rather just backed off until I got sick of it and ended it. I am that person. It's ironic because I'm not really going out with him but since Arturo put this title on me of girlfriend I feel like I'm suffocating. I haven't even kissed him, since that brief kiss months ago. I went out with him and Cali once where he insisted on holding my hand and which made me feel like a total fool. So I have to break any possible thing that might be going on, off. I don't like him. The only reason I think I liked him before is because I thought I couldn't have him. I have a serious sickness. As soon as I get something. I no longer want it. That is why I'm never falling in love.