NOTE TO MY READERS: I WON'T BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS MUCH LONGER SINCE MY CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED (AKA KICKED OUT OF THE HOUSE)BUT I WILL BE EMOTIONALLY PURGING, IN OTHER WORDS WRITING MY GUTS OUT UNTIL THEN, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT,(if you'd like to join my snail mail list please email me THIS week at [email protected])

I can't believe I'm moving out. I'm becoming nostalgic. It's a scary thought to think that I will never sleep in MY bedroom again. My two youngest sisters, Sarah and Samantha will be thrilled. Since Carmen is moving out in fall they will both be able to get their own rooms.

I've been avoiding my Dad like the plague, not that I ever go out of my way to talk with him. I think I'll move out at the end of next week since I have to at least finish up school before I move out.

Last night I attempted to pack with no boxes, if that makes any sense to you. I've been going through things, attempting to get rid of a lot. I have to buy some big rubbermaid containers to fill with all my crap and find out if I can keep my dresser. It's funny it sort of feels like a breakup. I'm not really sure of my feelings because in one way I like my new found freedom and independance and it is time to move on but in other ways I'm really scared about facing the future, I mean as bad as things are sometimes, at least I am used to it.

All I am doing is renting a room from Annetta, I do not need any more room than that. It is going to be a big change nonetheless because my room is 9x12 , so anything is an upgrade to that. I'll still only be a mile away from my two jobs which will be nice and just down the road from Abby and Madeline, two little girls I used to babysit for.