NOTE TO MY READERS: I WON'T BE ABLE TO WRITE THIS MUCH LONGER SINCE MY CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE CHANGED (AKA KICKED OUT OF THE HOUSE)BUT I WILL BE EMOTIONALLY PURGING, IN OTHER WORDS WRITING MY GUTS OUT UNTIL THEN, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT,(if you'd like to join my snail mail list please email me THIS week at [email protected])

As bad as things are looking right now I have good feelings about it. I know that I simply cannot go on to school next sememster. I have NEVER wanted to go to college. It was always just one of my fathers requirements and I did it because at least I had a place to live. I will have my associates degree in a week so I at least have something to show for it. I have been stressing about this situation for too long. I wasn't sleeping at night and I had this problem with clenching my jaw when I did sleep. I just kept praying."Please God just let it all work out." And I think it is, not in the obvious I just won the lottery and found Mr Right kind of way, though. But it all of a sudden fell into my lap that Annetta (a coworker)wanted to rent out a room and she said she'd be happy to have me. It is a mini-miracle because she only lives a mile from my two jobs and a mile and a half from my house. Plus I really love my job as a waitress, it's crazy I know, but I actually look forward to going to work. Plus financially I've been doing quite well. I actually was able to save almost half my paychecks.I'll be working 30 hrs at the gas station and 27hrs as a waitress.

This may not seem like the right answer for everyone but it is the right answer right now for me.