I am a total coward. I cannot make a decision completly on my own. Instead of putting a lot of effort into something I do a half ass job and say "If it's meant to be it's meant to be." That is the way I lead my life. Never taking a chance. I can't even tell you what I am doing past this weekend. I live in today.

I graduate in May (cross your fingers) with an associates degree in the prerequisites for an elementary education. I was supposed to go onto another college, an hour and a half from home but I'm not. I just can't keep going to school, at least not for right now. I think the only reason, in fact I'm pretty positive, is because I'd have no place to live otherwise. Is that not cowardly. So I dragged through nearly three years of school (yes it should have only taken two)not desiring to be there and there for putting in no effort. What a waste of my money. My parents don't think that not getting my degree to be an option. So they are not going to be happy to hear that I won't be going on in Fall. Let's just say they will be pissed. I have been putting it off which will only make it worse. So I have to make a decision as to what I will do. Have I? No. I have toyed with the idea of becoming a nanny. I applied for one in NY. I heard back but she said that since they mostly dealt with very little in the city (where for some reason I want to be)she gave me a bunch of numbers of other agencies to call around. But did I do anything. Nope. I for some reason expect things to just fall into my life. I just don't know what I should be doing right now. I know it isn't in school, that's all I know.I could move in with Annette(a coworker from the gas station) or should I pursue the nanny thing. Isn't there some easy way in which to figure this out? I wish I could just read a horoscope or have a divine sign.