My prayer lately is "please let me stop looking for flaws." I'm so scared that I am ruining things with Jeremy because even though he is a wonderful guy I find all of his flaws. When I'm not with him I think about him and want to see him but when I'm with him I'm still looking at the clock saying do I get to go home soon? I think it's a defense mechanism. I'm not used to being the one who is liked more. You know how relationships are unbalanced? Jeremy likes me more. I've never had that before. I looked back in my diary on my last relationship and at this point, I was HEAD OVER HEELS and we know what happened with that. Maybe I'll be single forever. My next date is Monday. I hope things change for the better by then. Not to quote Avril but "why you gotta make things so complicated." I talked to Erin which made me feel better. At her third date she was going to break up with her, now boyfriend of a year, because he had a small penis.

I dreamt last night of Jeremy's ex Dana, never actually met her. She was a blond heavyset bitch in the dream who charged me to use her phone (in the dream I was late for work).