Thursday, Sept. 19, 2002 @ 12:11 pm
There it is in bold black print in the engagement section MARTINEZ-NELSON. Jeremy wearing a striped rugby shirt and a slight smile, Amanda with a big false smile. Engaged...wedding planned for June 14, 2003. It's weird because when I look at the picture at first it's a sharp pain. God, I wish this were me. Not marrying Jeremy but getting married. To quote Meg Ryan in Sleepless in Seattle "It wasn't that he didn't want to get married, he didn't want to get married to me." It's so sad that we as women feel this silly need that being married will make everything better. I'm trying with every fiber of my being to not fall for this crazy way of thinking.
I will have my own home in a few months and I have pretty delicate dishes and a big comfy chair and a girly pastel bedroom with nice sheets but I won't have anybody to come home to. I won't have anybody to eat my homemade beef stew out of my dishes with steaming coffee on a cold Wisconsin winter night or to cuddle with later in that chair or to crawl into those crisp sheets with at night. And it's hard because I feel like I have complete control over everything in my life...except that.
before*little girl your in the middle* after
Katie(me)...curvy single 21 year old Wisconsin waitress who has the worst luck in men, believes in the positive effects of sexy underwear especially black,can't live without music, painted toenails, Curves(gym for women)and a good book(The Scandolous Summer of Sissy LeBlanc by Lorraine Despres)