Tonight was the big night with Jeremy, the first night working with him since "the talk and letter". As soon as he came in with his asshole face on I began to regret having told him what I felt. I began to think how much easier things could have been if I just pretended that everything was peachy keen. But that is really tough because I hold my emotions very close to the surface. I decided to try to get him to talk, making simple conversation . But when he gave me one word answers I thought screw him, and what followed after that was silence. Dead silence. That heavy silence where you know there are things to be said but know one wants to say them. It was very reminiscent of the breakup night. Then I tried once again to make conversation so I asked "So how is the Princess dealing with this?" So this brang on his rants about her. I decided to completly play devils advocate and took Princess' side. I have to say I think it is so crappy that Amanda would date her friends ex of only four months whom she is far from over and experienced all the shit that she got to hear about Jeremy doing to Princess. Am I wrong or is this not something you'd do to a friend? It was kind of like we were dealing with our situation without ever completly addressing it. We kind of ended it again on agreeing to disagree. Then things were kind of okay again. Different, definitly. Tense, very much so. I don't think we can be friends. Maybe sometime in the future but not know. I'm really hoping that he quits soon, that would make the "getting over" process so much easier. And as much as I hate this situation it is making me realize that it is indeed over. It's not even that I really think I like him anymore. I like about 10% of him. I think it is merely principle. Like I failed somehow. This is not a good reason to be with someone.